It’s morning, and there you are, thinking how to get out, on how to survive this day because you are fucking sad.
yeah. obviously, I’m fucked up, big time.
I should fucking stop pretending that’s everything’s fucking fine.
fucking tears ang hirap pigilan.
Can I at least have my peace of mind? if only our ears has switch, our life would be a fucking easy as fuck.
;
It’s hard to understand everything, even though we don’t really have to, we always crave for that, we always wanted to understand why are we sad, why am I writing this thing, how come that we feel so lonely even though we are surrounded by a lot of people? One day you’re happy and then you’ll get sad for the rest of the week without knowing the reason. You know you were blessed enough but it’s hard to pretend that you are genuinely happy, that’s the hardest thing to achieve, I guess. I know this kind of feeling won’t last but I’m also sure that it will happen again, and again.
do you know what’s hard? when you want to say something but you don’t know where to start, or if it’s worth it to speak out loud, or if it’s really matter to you or to anyone. It was so hard feeling this way, like you literally have to swallow every word that you wanna say, because it might hurt someone, or ruin something. Then you end up swallowing it, like nothing really happened, and you will think to death, does anyone wonder what were you thinking? does anyone wonder at times, if you are genuinely fine? Is it still worth it? everything? you’ll have anxiety, that if ever you said those words that you had swallow, is it gonna change something? is there really someone who will listen? Oh yeah, I’m okay. I will always be, but I do lie too.
MY TWIN & I PASSED!!!!! TAENA WORTH IT YUNG DALAWANG ARAW NA PAMATAY NA KABA!! I AM SO BLESSED, THANK YOU LORD!!!
I’m posting rants here as if it was a Twitter, I just can’t tweet for now. I’m afraid someone might ask me…